P.S. There are two voices within this explanation, the first is John Channings the creator of the WomenLikeMe Program and the second is me, Wilma. The grey text is me.

     CONTENTS

Part 1 - The Question; Is this Useful?

Part 2 - Observing your ‘Little Voice’

Part 3 - An Introduction to Structures

Part 4 - A Rigorous Definition

Part 5 - The Life Cycle of a Structure

Part 6 – Do Our Structures Serve Us or Dominate Us

Part 7 - Balance and Congruency

Conclusion

Part 1 - The Question; Is this Useful?

This program is not traditional education and is not based on the assumptions of traditional education. In fact before we can get going, some unlearning is required.

The difficulty we currently face is that we are unlikely to accept new learning unless it dovetails neatly into what we already know.
WomenLikeMe is all about asking and examining our questions, in particular the question; Is there another way?

So it’s important to realize that any inquiry into ‘Is there another way?’ is going to come smack up against the resistance of what we already know.

One of the challenges for us as adults is that we are already very well educated; we have for many years been learning the truth about life, first from our parents and at school, then as an adult in the world of life’s experiences. During this time, we have developed a sense of what is true and what is not true for us.

Into this knowing, fresh learning and our inquiry into ‘Is there another way?’ doesn’t really stand a chance of having any serious attention paid to it when up against the domination of our life long beliefs and our already knowing.

The principle issue is our learned addiction to the ‘truth’.

We have always been taught that there is a right answer; a best way to do things, and we have been subjected to tests that only allowed for one answer. We think the world is structured according to true/false, right/wrong and that there is a ‘truth’.

You may not accept our saying this; but there is not a ‘truth’. In nature there are many answers that all work and living questions have many valid responses.

Why you wouldn’t accept this is because it immediately comes up against your one answer world of ‘truths’.

Can you see that it’s a catch 22 situation? No matter what new ideas are presented, they will be dismissed by what you already know as your subconscious will speak up and tell you so.
In order for us to offer you a ‘new’ explanation, we have to get around the limitation that you already know too much. You need to open yourself up to receiving new (conflicting) information.


This is how we do it?
First we’d invite you to completely ignore the question ‘Is this the truth?’
In WomenLikeMe, we are not concerned with the ‘truth’. That is not our intention here. Our intention is to offer an explanation that relates usefully to how you live your life on a daily basis, an explanation that equips you for managing the conditions of your life.

Therefore we invite you to ask a different question. Throughout WomenLikeMe, we ask the question; Is this useful to me and in my life right now?’

Is it useful? is the practical question you can test every thing you hear, read adn learn.

If it is useful, accept it, if it is not useful, reject it.

In WomenLikeMe we expect you to decline any parts of any explanation that are not useful for you and where you are in your life right now. These explanations are offered to you because we have found them to be useful. We have no comment on whether they are the truth or not. That is not our intention here.

Let’s practice with an example:

Can you see that how you approach and begin your inquiry is going to make a BIG difference to where you end up?
If you start with the ‘true/false’ question, you will end up right back where you started (thinking pretty much as you currently do).
If you start with the ‘useful’ question, you could end up anywhere and that is the whole point of WomenLikeMe.
 

Quick Recap

Well done, you’re over the first hurdle and well on your way. So the first lesson of this program is to accept that there is no 'right or wrong' here, just explanations that you will find useful or not useful as you live your life, day to day.
So now let’s meet someone whom we are very familiar with…
 
 

Part 2 - Observing your ‘Little Voice’

Pause for a moment and listen to it; it is maybe saying; "what little voice?" or "I don't need to pause, I'll keep reading"; yes that is your Little Voice. It has something to say about everything, always commenting, always judging and always expressing some opinion in your head. As you practice noticing your Little Voice, you are developing a very special skill. A skill that will take practice to develop. It is the skill of; ‘being an observer’. This is a different skill from the skill of observing your external world; this is the skill of observing your internal world, the skill of observing your Little Voice, observing your ego in action.

Throughout WomenLikeMe you will develop what seems like two parallel Little Voices; one commenting on everything it sees and hears and another observing the former.
Practicing the skill of observing ones own Little Voice is fundamental to you seriously considering the question; ‘Is there another way?’
Before considering other ways, it is necessary to be aware of your thinking (your Little Voice) and the invisible beliefs that hold your existing reality in place.
With the encouragement of the WomenLikeMe community, you get to become a skilled observer of you.

Now let’s look again at the question; ‘Is it useful?’
It is your Little Voice that needs training into asking the ‘is it useful?’ question.
It is your Little Voice that by default and in a split second, tests everything it hears or reads and applies the; ‘is it true in terms of what I already know?’ filter. Your Little Voice has been thoroughly trained to look for ‘The Truth!’
Until observing your Little Voice / ego is a practiced skill, you will not be effectively asking the; ‘Is it useful?’ question. Until your observing skill has matured, your ego will continue to have the upper hand and kill off new ideas that do not fit its existing set of beliefs and truths.
The beauty of the ‘Is it useful?’ question is that you (your Little Voice) are still free to accept or reject what you hear, but instead of comparing with the past and what you have learned in the past, you are answering the question in terms of right now and your daily experiences.


Quick Recap

So before you can consider other ways to do things you first must be aware of the constant jabber that goes on in your head; your Little Voice. Once you can observe what it says then you are ready to fly to new heights. This will take some amount of practice, however we’ve no doubt you’ll do it.
Let’s get onto finding out about our reality.

Part 3 - An Introduction to Structures

The usefulness of this explanation is that it defines what is ‘real’ in our world. If something is not a Structure then it is an illusion or conceptual, and is not a source of joy, fulfillment, love or prosperity.

You are familiar with the word ‘structure’ and its common meanings. The meaning we present here is new, specific and rigorous. Compare your reality with this explanation, and as you do, you will see your world in a new and much clearer light. You will see what is real. And you will see that much of what you thought was real, is not real at all. It is either an illusion, conceptual or both. Much of our current confusion is because we don’t know the difference between what is real and what is not.

Reality is where joy, fulfillment, life and what we as humans have access to, happens. Pretty obvious you may think, but not obvious when you start to look hard at what goes on around us. We are continuously chasing concepts thinking they are real, chasing illusions wanting them to be real.

This explanation is profound and important because our current models of reality are failing us. They fail us because they collapse reality and concept together as though they are the same thing. It is difficult for us to know the difference.
But there is a HUGE difference when it comes to experiencing and manifesting a joyful, fulfilling life.

Let’s look at an example of what we are talking about. Since Greek times, we have pursued explanations that focused on looking for understanding through analysis, by pulling things apart.

For example, we in the West still think and teach that our body is made up of separate parts such as a brain and eyes as if they exist and work separately. They don’t.

Brains and eyes only work because they are part of the whole body. Seeing only happens when all parts of our body exist as a whole, working together.

We are talking conceptually when we argue; does the eyes see or does the brain see? Neither sees, only as a working whole, does our body see.

All reality only exists as a working whole, not as a pile of parts. This obsession with parts has both slowed down our learning and has confused us as to what is real.
The Structures Explanation provides us with an understanding of the wholeness of reality.

Quick Recap

We’ve established what is behind this word ‘Structure’ and its relationship to our reality. It’s time now to look deeper into what it all means. Remember you do not have to agree with what is said here, however I’d ask you to consider the question ‘Is this explanation useful to me in my life?’ as you continue reading.

Part 4 - A Rigorous Definition

Throughout this article, when referring to ‘Structures’ using this definition we spell it with a capital ‘S’, so as to clearly distinguish it from the common meanings of ’structure’ that you are already familiar with.

This is a new definition of the word ‘Structure’. Everything that fits the criteria listed below for a Structure is by definition ‘real’.

Staying with the body example; your body is a Structure and fulfills the criteria of being a Structure. On the other hand, your brain is not a Structure, as it cannot exist separate from the body. So while we can talk of brains, they are not actually real, they are a concept, a label.
While the galaxies, earth and all nature are made up of Structures, for the purpose of this explanation, we will concern ourselves only with the Structures that make up our own personal worlds.

So here’s the Criteria that Defines a Structure:

I appreciate that this is new material, it may sound foreign to you and you may not take it all in on the first go, however keep going, it’ll be worth it.


Let’s look at the criteria in more detail, one by one.

1. They are created; are born, have a life and die:

Nothing in our world is permanent, everything is always changing and it is useful to recognize what stage of its life journey something is in. We often fail to see how much we need to invest in something when it is newly arrived, whether it is a baby or a new computer that we need to learn how to ‘use’. We also fail to appreciate that everything will die or disappear from us. We so resist change and resist the ending of Structures such as a relationship, a job, any change in our circumstances. This is life and unavoidable.

The ‘dying’ of a computer is really very clear, as it stops working. The ending of a relationship is sometimes not as clear; it can be too emotionally charged. So if we can look at the ending of a relationship in the same way as we do a computer, then it becomes so much easier to complete and move on from it.

2. They exist NOW and only Now:

The major illusion of all is that there is anything other than the present moment. As far as human beings are concerned the past and future are only conceptual; we can never go there.
Once we completely embrace that only this moment of ‘now’ exists and only those Structures that exist NOW, actually exist, life becomes very simple and so does knowing how to access joy and fulfillment. It all happens in this present moment.

It is useful to separate between memories (which happen in the present) and the past; for example hanging onto photos or keepsakes is fine. However a lot of the things we keep are not in that category. We hold onto them without realizing that they are dead. My exercise bike lay lying in the back of the shed for three years before I got rid of it. It was a dead structure as I’d stopped using it, it was in the past. I held onto it ‘just in case’ I needed it in the future, which I didn’t. I had no intention of using the bike or bringing that Structure back to life.

3. They require Energy:

Your Structures need to be maintained, require time, attention, love and money to sustain them. All reality is a flow of energy, energy in and energy out. All the Structures in your life require energy of some sort or another. The more Structures you have the more looking after they require.
They don’t just passively sit there, they require attention, whether it be your car because it is wearing out or your relationship which you have no time for. They all require energy.

Before I heard this explanation I would recklessly commit myself and my time to many different things in my life; friends, hobbies, family, my job and volunteer work. You name it I’d put my hand up for it. I’d say YES before I even took a breath to consider the time and the effort required by me. This was a fatal mistake as I’d often find myself dissatisfied and feeling like I ‘had to’ do something, instead of being happy and enjoying myself. Things became very busy and not much fun and I’d end up having no time or energy for anything at all. I’d completely missed the first step; to consider exactly what was involved. Thankfully I am learning to stop and think before opening my mouth.

4. They generate Energy:

All our prosperity, wealth, joy and well being flows from the Structures in our life and nowhere else!!!
Structures provide us with everything, which is how life works. So whatever we receive, we receive from our Structures. If you have Structures that don’t work well, flow little, are stingy then you will receive little.

The number and quality of structures we have will be different for everyone, however it is important to choose ones that do indeed bring you joy. Don’t try to fit square pegs into round holes; listen to your heart as it really does know what you like and dislike. For example if you’re not keen on going to the gym then stop going and choose another form of exercise that you do enjoy, one that you find pleasurable.

5. They have Structural Coherences (rules or agreements) that always apply:

‘Structural coherence’ is a technical term explaining that certain types of Structures will only perform according to their coherence, i.e. they will behave as they are designed to behave. In nature ducks fly and swim and humans walk and swim, humans don’t have the ’structural coherence’ to fly.
This is useful when examining man made Structures, as we have the power to create the ’structural coherence’ of our own man made Structures. A bit technical I know, but easiest to understand if we think of structural coherences as rules or agreements.
For example ‘driving on the road’ is a Structure that has road rules. By following them, driving works out, by not following them, things don’t work, accidents happen and people get hurt. If you ignore or resist rules and agreements, then you resist one of the laws of nature and life gets hard.

6. They are a System:

It is because Structures are a system that they are a working whole and we can see the interconnectedness of everything. Systems actually make your life easy. There is no joy in resisting systems; they are a law of nature.

The systems within your Structures can be easy and straight forward.
Let’s look at your job Structure as an example. Within this Structure you’ll have a system called your working hours. Included in this system would be the days you work, your start time, finish time and break times. Without this system you would not know when you needed to show up for work and as a result you wouldn’t know what time you had available for other Structures like your family, the gym, meeting friends, books club etc. So systems are very useful for avoiding chaos.


Quick Recap

For a Structure to exist it must have the 6 criteria listed above. Also Structures relate to every single part of our lives; the relationships we have with people, the physical things we have and the things we choose to do and the activities we take part in. And of course some of our Structures overlap in all areas of our life.

We now know the criteria for a Structure. So how does it apply to your life, I hear you ask?

Part 5 - The Life Cycle of a Structure

All Structures have a life, there is a time when they come into existence (are born) and after a period of time, they go out of existence (die). Once realized we can pay attention to where our Structures are on their journey through life and relate to them appropriately.

BIRTH

Whether it is a baby or a new computer, in the beginning, it is all about investing energy and love into the Structure. Babies are obvious, but the same is true for a relationship or a new computer, we have to invest time into setting it up, configuring and learning how to use it. This takes time and energy before we can get a return on that investment.

MATURITY

As our Structures and our relationship with them mature, that is when we get the best return on our investment.

DEATH

And then as time passes, Structures come to the end of their life.
A tremendous amount of grief and upset is a consequence of us believing that things, relationships, reality is permanent. Nothing is, everything is flowing towards its death.
‘Permanence’ is a cruel illusion, that we often unknowingly assume, not realizing that it is false. Every day I see people resisting the end of a job, a business, a relationship; all kinds of things, when all there is to do is to say good bye and move on to new beginnings…
Whether it is a house, a car, a relationship or business, at some point the Structure will end its life. As with an old car, there is not much value in investing lots of energy into a dying Structure. And there is nothing wrong with a Structure dying, we all die, so let dying Structures die with grace and ease. In their death a vacuum is created and the ground from which new Structures can flourish.

Quick Recap

Structures only exist for a certain period of time. They are temporary in the scheme of things called your life.
Now we’re onto the real gold within this explanation. Of course it’s the most confronting if you’re willing to take it on that is.

Part 6 - Balance and Congruency

In recent times, like the last 50 years, the abundance of Structures and our ability to have lots of Structures in our life has increased extraordinarily. Fifty years ago it was unimaginable that we could have so much stuff, so many ways to communicate or be entertained, or so much ability to commute and move around the planet.

It serves the commercial machine for us to be laden down with Structures. All the time we are being enticed to embrace, buy or win more Structures into our life.

We are constantly being taught that the more Structures we have the more prosperous we are. And on the surface that may look like the case, and certainly most of you aspire for more and do things like buy lottery tickets, wishing to win.

But if you look deeper and realize that all Structures require energy, you can see that there will be a point of diminishing returns when you are spending all your time looking after all your Structures and have little time to enjoy them. In fact I dare to suggest that most of you have already reached that point. You already have so much, (are so wealthy) that you are spending more time looking after your Structures than you are enjoying them.

This is a recent phenomenon that was certainly not the case for most people 50 years ago. Now it is and there are huge commercial interests to keep you buying and to keep you buying solutions like security, storage and insurance to look after all these possessions.

I’ll also add that I’m not talking just about possessions here; the same can also apply to having too many relationships.
So instead of measuring in terms of quantity…

Let’s measure in terms of quality!!!

We are better off when: We have fewer Structures that deliver more. When those Structures overlap, so the prosperity flows from one Structure or person to another, eventually coming back around to you. When those Structures are geographically close together, like working from home, and there is less travel and less time invested in travel. We share our Structures with others, by being inclusive more people benefit. Being independent, self sufficient, exclusive does not contribute to our ease or quality of experience with our Structures.

Structures require energy, so the more Structures we have, the more energy we need to provide to maintain them.

In Conclusion

What is real is a Structure and what is not real is not a Structure.

Reality is not permanent but an endless flow of energy, and as we use that energy, we experience joy, fulfillment and prosperity.

Structures can serve or dominate us.

Aspiring for balance and congruency with our Structures is preferable.

So there you have it, an introduction to the WomenLikeMe program and how to live a heart-centered life. Congratulations for getting through it.
We hope this has your heart singing as you read about a way of relating to your family and life that is useful and workable.

Before choosing to join us, read the FAQ page to see if what will be asked of you, as a member of WomenLikeMe, is something that you are ready to take on.
As we have already said; be warned, shifting from a mind-centered life to a heart-centered life takes some DO-ing.
The FAQ page speaks to your questions regarding what is expected of you.

If there is anything else you need to know, then please feel free to get in touch with us. Whether it is a comment, an observation, a question or something else, we’d love to hear from you.

Talk Soon!